I have been spending time thinking about Psalm 131 these days. I love Peterson’s version in The Message:
God, I am not trying to rule the roost,
I don’t want to be king of the mountain.
I haven’t meddled where I have no business of fantasized grandiose plans.
I’ve kept my feet on the ground,
I’ve cultivated a quiet heart.
Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content.
Wait,
Can I possibly living like a loved person if I don’t have the time or energy to write on my own blog in three months!? Kind of ironic huh!
I got an email from a friend a while back that God has used to confront me and restore my commitment to my life as a loved person. She had listened to a sermon of mine, and was sharing what God was teaching her. It is always extra convicting when God uses your own words to remind you of the life you feel called to live.
As I went out to run this evening I listened to your message on God's heart for the lonely. And of course it struck an enormous chord. And I wonder - and long for it to happen - if I will be able to reach the point that the woman at the well did - where she was truly transformed by her encounter to the point where she really got it - the way that the light bulb goes off and the relationship comes to this whole new level, this level of a true friend and trusting sense of someone that you can talk to and sense real guidance from and concern. A transformation that at the deepest heart level convinces you once and for all that you are loved and that affects everything about you and your perception of your world and your life and how you relate to others. It is this I think that I seem to be banging against in my heart and head and spirit.
I wrote my friend back today. I wanted to encourage her, but I was really talking to my self – confessing my need to walk in the way of God’s love. I share it with you as an attempt to press my commitments into the light, and to speak the truth of the Gospel to myself and to anyone else who might care to listen.
I too long for the day when I will really get it – that I am loved by Jesus – to the point when I will let go of my temporal longings and dreams – to let the God of heaven dream for me.
I resonate with your thoughts about pursuing your own way instead of trusting in God (that can be done in every area – relationships, intimacy, money and even ministry). Minsitry is where I run ahead of Jesus. I work in my own strength and my own wisdom rather than waiting for the tender power of God to come in His time and in his way.
Sometimes there are consequences to our rushing ahead. For me, I exhaust myself trying to be Jesus for everyone, and I end up feeling alone and overwhelmed. The consequences of our sin can be quite serious – physical, emotional and relational.
The good news is that for the repentant heart there is no consequence bigger than the grace of Jesus. If we confess our sin (1 John 1:9) there is no spiritual consequence that can take us away from Jesus – make him turn his back on us, leave us alone or burn in anger towards us. No! Rather, he gently calls us back to himself – to love, to relationship, to blessing, to inheritance as a dearly loved child that is his very own.
I have to remind myself of these things regularly – almost every day. I have to speak, read and have spoken over me the truth that I am son of God, and no one – not even me – can change that. No one is powerful enough to rip me from the arms of my strong Father in Heaven.
I will pray for you, as I pray for myself, that you will know the heights, the depths, the length and the breadth of the love of God in Christ Jesus. May you know the joy of being God’s precious little girl. And, may God grace you with the continued love of good friends.
Brian
