Living Like a Loved Person

Strange Love

2008-01-17T10:29:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine has this quote as part of her email signature. It arrested my attention.

"Strange, this love announced by our Lord turns all of life right. To love others is to fill our own empty spaces".
- Thomas A. Becket
c. 1118-1170

We are proud and humbled parents.

2007-07-09T13:53:00.000-05:00

In late May Zach, our oldest son, gave the senior address in our church on youth Sunday. It was an amazing moment - a culmination of all the years of parenting and praying. We could not be more excited about the man he is becoming - has become. Here is his short address - it is worth watching, really.

Wait with Hope

2007-05-22T15:55:00.000-05:00

I have been spending time thinking about Psalm 131 these days. I love Peterson’s version in The Message:

God, I am not trying to rule the roost,
I don’t want to be king of the mountain.
I haven’t meddled where I have no business of fantasized grandiose plans.

I’ve kept my feet on the ground,
I’ve cultivated a quiet heart.
Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content.

Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope. Hope now; hope forever.

I think that is how loved people live – people who are convinced they are loved.

Stepping Into the Light

2007-05-18T11:07:00.000-05:00

Can I possibly living like a loved person if I don’t have the time or energy to write on my own blog in three months!? Kind of ironic huh!

I got an email from a friend a while back that God has used to confront me and restore my commitment to my life as a loved person. She had listened to a sermon of mine, and was sharing what God was teaching her. It is always extra convicting when God uses your own words to remind you of the life you feel called to live.

As I went out to run this evening I listened to your message on God's heart for the lonely. And of course it struck an enormous chord. And I wonder - and long for it to happen - if I will be able to reach the point that the woman at the well did - where she was truly transformed by her encounter to the point where she really got it - the way that the light bulb goes off and the relationship comes to this whole new level, this level of a true friend and trusting sense of someone that you can talk to and sense real guidance from and concern. A transformation that at the deepest heart level convinces you once and for all that you are loved and that affects everything about you and your perception of your world and your life and how you relate to others. It is this I think that I seem to be banging against in my heart and head and spirit.

I wrote my friend back today. I wanted to encourage her, but I was really talking to my self – confessing my need to walk in the way of God’s love. I share it with you as an attempt to press my commitments into the light, and to speak the truth of the Gospel to myself and to anyone else who might care to listen.

I too long for the day when I will really get it – that I am loved by Jesus – to the point when I will let go of my temporal longings and dreams – to let the God of heaven dream for me.

I resonate with your thoughts about pursuing your own way instead of trusting in God (that can be done in every area – relationships, intimacy, money and even ministry). Minsitry is where I run ahead of Jesus. I work in my own strength and my own wisdom rather than waiting for the tender power of God to come in His time and in his way.

Sometimes there are consequences to our rushing ahead. For me, I exhaust myself trying to be Jesus for everyone, and I end up feeling alone and overwhelmed. The consequences of our sin can be quite serious – physical, emotional and relational.

The good news is that for the repentant heart there is no consequence bigger than the grace of Jesus. If we confess our sin (1 John 1:9) there is no spiritual consequence that can take us away from Jesus – make him turn his back on us, leave us alone or burn in anger towards us. No! Rather, he gently calls us back to himself – to love, to relationship, to blessing, to inheritance as a dearly loved child that is his very own.

I have to remind myself of these things regularly – almost every day. I have to speak, read and have spoken over me the truth that I am son of God, and no one – not even me – can change that. No one is powerful enough to rip me from the arms of my strong Father in Heaven.

I will pray for you, as I pray for myself, that you will know the heights, the depths, the length and the breadth of the love of God in Christ Jesus. May you know the joy of being God’s precious little girl. And, may God grace you with the continued love of good friends.

Brian

Top 5 Ways of Getting into a Church

2007-03-09T12:21:00.000-06:00

I have noticed that some folks have an easier time becoming part of our church than others. Here are a few of the things they have done that seem to make it easier and faster.

Make yourself known: As a pastor, I love it when folks approach me and say, “Hey, I’m new. Can we get together so I can learn about your church?”

Ask questions: It is not always as easy to understand what to do or where to go at a new church –at least not as easy as we pastors would like to think. Ask a greeter, a pastor what to do, or even call the church before you visit. If you can say “I am looking for a group of recent grads. Where do I go when I come to you church?”, you will learn a lot, and likely have folks looking forward to meeting you on Sunday.

Volunteer: You don’t have to have picked a church to volunteer for a special project – or go to a prayer meeting. Serving and praying might give you a way to learn more about the people and the community, and you will likely make a friend.

Take a risk: It really is hard to enter a room full of people you don’t know! Working through the fear, and introducing yourself to lots of people may not be who you are, but it will definitely be worth it.

Ask for help! Ask a leader or even a member of a small group to help you get to know folks or become part of the fellowship. They can introduce you to people and pave the way for new relationships – or just make you feel less awkward at a party!

Finding Community After College

2007-03-09T11:06:00.000-06:00

I recently bumped into a young woman who had visited our church a little while back. I was so excited to see her. I had been praying for and her transition to Austin, and that she might find her way into the life of our church community. I had heard about her, and was delighted that there might be an InterVarsity staff person becoming part of the fellowship.

My heart sank as I listened to her story. She had a hard time making a connection when she visited, and she did not want to say (I could tell), but her face belied the truth of the rumor that I heard that she had an awkward encounter with a guy in our singles group.

Now, to be honest and fair, I really don’t know why she did or did not ultimately make our church her home. Who really knows? But, her story sounded all too familiar. It broke my heart, and as a pastor, it breaks my heart every time I hear stories like hers.

I know that our church is not for everyone. We are a particular “flavor”, and not all people like vanilla, or strawberry or whatever flavor best describes our church. But, it pains me that someone would find it hard to find their way into our community. Our pastoral staff – and I know this is true of every pastor I know – works hard to make sure that people find the easiest ramp into the church as possible. It is not because we just want to get “bigger”. It is because we really love people, and live to build authentic faith communities where people will find loving transforming connections to God Word and God’s people.

So, as I write about things you can do to find your way into the church as you graduate, please know that we in the church take your challenge seriously. We know that the hard work is not only yours, but ours. We have to get better at making a way for folks like you to find a home with us. That said, there are some things that you can do that will really help the process.

1. Be persistent! I am convinced that as God has called you to live in a new city, he has made a way for you to find your way into a new faith community. He has not called you into loneliness or isolation in your faith! A church is out there where you will really fit. You may not find it on the first visit, or the second. Stay engaged in the process, and get your buddies to hold you accountable to hanging in there.

Keep in mind that even after you have “picked your church”, it will likely take upwards of three months to find your way into a community. You know what I mean – that place where you feel that you are known, and others know you. Where you feel comfortable at the spontaneous gathering at the movies or for dinner. Persevere through the inevitable awkwardness. The safety of your friendships in InterVarsity took time to build. The same will be true in the church.

2. Don’t Blame the Church: Now there is a ton the church (my church) is guilty of. We will own that. But, I too often hear the old story that “I went to that church and nobody reached out to me”. The untold story is that the person slipped in late one Sunday, bolted as soon as the service was over, never asked a question and never filled out a contact form of any kind.

Remember, if you go to a church of over 500 people, it is rare that everyone in the seat knows who is new and who is not. At some point, you need to make yourself known, and do a bit more than sit in a pew for a little over an hour.

Now, if you have come more than once, filled out the church’s new comer stuff, introduced yourself at the info booth and you still have trouble making connection, blame us all you want. We will have failed you! But, my experience is that while that story happens, it is rare. When we enter a new church community we need to have healthy expectations. We need to do our part to let folks know we exist and that we want help to make our way into the fellowship.

3. It is going to be different! One of the things I loved about being part of InterVarsity as a student was that the community of faith was so connected. The relationships I made in college were amazing, and many of then have been enduring. We had a common experience, a common language (GIG, Large Group, Urbana and IBS for instance).

It was a shock and a loss when I made my way into my first church after graduation. “These people have never even heard of InterVaristy. What is the deal!” I had to understand that in entering a new church, I was also entering a new culture – the church’s unique culture. I had to get comfortable with the fact that is was not just like what I left on campus, and loved so much.

What you experienced in college, if anything like my life in InterVarsity, was wonderful and unique. It is worth celebrating, and grieving as you leave school. There will not be another place just like it.

As you look for a church, it will help you remember to expect the church to be different. It will not be what you had in college. But different does not always mean “bad”. God can, and I believe desires to provide you a rich experience of transforming community in the church.

Remain open to new moves of God’s Spirit as you enter the world of the church. And as you graduate, remember to celebrate and say thank you to all the people that have been so special to you. Allow yourself to grieve as you leave the community, but don’t let that become a barrier to a new community in the church.